Dealing With Rejection, The ESPYs, and Justin Bieber

by Scott on July 18, 2011

Last week Heather, the kids, and I were in the running for a big national commercial. They were looking to cast a real family and we fit the bill. Callbacks were on Monday afternoon, the kids were awesome, and we left feeling pretty good. By Tuesday morning we were put on ‘avail’. That means make sure you are available for the shoot next week because in the words of Jim Carey we “like you a lot”. On Thursday at 4:00 the client had checked to make sure the kids had work permits since the final decision would be made Friday morning. Of course they didn’t (why make things easy?), so I blasted my way through 26 miles of rush hour traffic to get to the state office at 4:58 and get the permits in hand.

Then Friday came and we waited……and waited….and waited….trying not to think about it. Finally, at the end of the day our agent notified us that we were released, meaning we didn’t get the job. Bummer.

I’ve dealt with a lot of rejection in my life. Working in financial services and acting is equivalent to waking up everyday expecting to get kicked in the groin. You know that you’re going to have to take the hits in order to get what you really want. Luckily I’m part Irish, so there are several thousand years of history coursing through my blood that allow me to get the shit kicked out of me and get up for more.
This one got to me though. Maybe because the kids were involved with us, or maybe because we have had more than a few close calls over the past two months, it was eating at me and I had to let it go. Knowing we all deal with monumental amounts of rejection on a daily basis, whether it be from work, family, relationships, etc, I want to share my steps for letting go of it.

1. Feel like crap – Yeah it’s OK to feel bad for a bit and wallow in self-pity. The world is not always full of sunshine and smiles. Just don’t let yourself stay there.

2. Move – Nothing changes your state quicker than breaking a sweat with a little exercise. I like to run hard or lift to get the aggression out. Even if I’m not cured of my bad mood, I definitely feel better. Running is also my zen time to get the negative thoughts out of my head.

3. Write – Sometimes I find it helpful to get my thoughts out on paper, sort of my write and release method. As important as it is to get any negative emotions out, it’s important to replace it with the right questions. Writing is a good way to list all that is right in my life. Some good questions to ask yourself are “What am I grateful for?”, “What is good about this situation?” “How can this help me?”

4. Breathe – I’ve only done a little yoga so I’m no expert, but when the world is really getting to me I just try to sit still and focus on my breathing. It reminds that I’m still alive, my body and mind still work, and that I can overcome anything.

By the next morning I felt better. It was still a bummer, but I took solace in the fact that there was now another casting agency who really liked us, the kids kicked ass in multiple auditions (not always a given!), and we are proving that we can cut it out here.

If you’ve faced rejection recently know you have a brother –in-spirit here. I would love to hear your story and how you got over it. Just leave a message in comments below.
ESPYs
Oh, I almost forgot about our ESPY experience and Justin Beiber. Heather and I had tickets for the red carpet event at the Nokia Theatre last week. One of the many cool things you can do in LA if you have the flexibility and desire. Here was my Facebook post on the event:

ESPY Round-up: Overrated: Erin Andrews, Danica Patrick. Underrated: Lolo Jones, Dirk’s girlfriend. Uber cool and owned the carpet: Ray Allen, Michael Irvin, and I have to begrudgingly admit… Ryan Reynolds. Jaw dropping: Serena William’s booty, Maria Sharapova’s legs, and Bieber-mania. The highlight: Almost getting crushed by a thousand teenage girls when we became the only barriers between them and Selena Gomez.

Some things you have to see to believe.....

It was a lot of fun and we were blown away by the craziness over The Biebs. I have to admit that when he hit the carpet it was pretty electric. Every reporter dashed after him and teenage girls, who must have picked up his scent, started herding, chanting, and shrieking in unison. Love or hate the kid, you have to respect what he has created for himself in such a short period of time. Anyway, really cool stuff and glad we went. Maybe next year we’ll be the ones walking down the carpet instead of just watching ;)

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